The Canyons

"Lohan (...) gives one of those performances, like Marlon Brando’s in 'Last Tango in Paris' (...) with her puffy skin, gaudy hoop earrings and thick eye makeup, there’s a little-girl-lost quality to the onetime Disney teen princess that’s very affecting" 

"Far from the renegade, boundary-pushing, sexually explicit sensation that its makers have been suggesting, 'The Canyons' is a lame, one-dimensional and ultimately dreary look at peripheral Hollywood types not worth anyone's time" 

"With 'The Canyons', [Mr. Schrader] tries to get at something real under all the hard, glossy surfaces, but ends up caught in the divide between the movie that he seems to have wanted to make and the one he did" 

"Stephen Rodrick's New York Times article about the making of 'The Canyons' had humor, suspense and propulsion. They should have made that movie. What we have here is dead on arrival (...) Rating: ★ (out of 4)" 

"'The Canyons' is not porn, but it has the demoralized second-rateness and the lowlife inanity of the porn world" 

"Paul Schrader's miscast, poorly executed and utterly soulless drama is an example of the failing art form it seeks to indict. Though it has real ideas, Schrader and his team never manage to put them into action" 

"She (Lohan) isn’t the best thing about this awful (...) drama (...) but in her defense, Lohan has been atrociously directed, allowed to get away with the worst aspects of her vocal-fry laziness, and trotted out like a symbolic objet d’art (...) Rating: ★ (out of 5)" 

"'The Canyons' is not the worst movie of 2013 — it's marginally better than 'InAPPpropriate Comedy' and 'Scary Movie 5', two even worse bombs that Lindsay Lohan also lent her rapidly diminishing talents to — but it is surely the most boring I’ve seen"