Madame Web

"[It] isn’t as bad as you’ve heard. It’s so much worse (...) Dakota Johnson's Spidey-adjacent misadventure is the 'Cats' of superhero movies" 

"Any way you spin it, it feels superfluous (...) Sony digs deep into the Spider-Man archives to find a fringe character with ill-defined powers and nothing especially interesting to do. You don’t have to be a soothsayer to see this particular franchise is DOA" 

"The worst superhero movie since 'Morbius'" 

"[It] is the first Marvel-affiliated movie for which I feel truly sorry. Most of its problems are quality-related (...) The action’s not much; the acting’s minimalist bordering on somnambulant (...) Rating: ★½ (out of 4)" 

"[It] might be the most shameless superhero movie of all time (...) Sony’s latest Marvel offshoot is a two-hour post-credits scene, made only intermittently tolerable by Dakota Johnson’s underappreciated knack for comedy" 

"[It] might have sounded like an interesting experiment, and it sort of is, but the execution feels less like a fully realized film than an extended prologue for a movie to come" 

"[It] tries to connect many plots and people together to a confusing, yet ultimately bland result (...) It fails as a one-off and a franchise starter"